Making Friends....

I believe that today was a perfect 10 beach day. We packed up the kids, (we seem to be getting pretty good at our beach routine) and were out the door and on the beach by 11am. Miss Bella was very animated today, much different than yesterday when she seemed more quiet and a bit more of an observer rather than a participant. Today Bella was very interactive and very much on the move.. literally. She was up on her knees, using the Dig-It Beach Umbrella (best beach umbrella in the world.. google it) for support. She had one hand on the umbrella pole and pulled herself up so she was fully extended on her knees...and here is the best part she was ALL smiles and oh so proud of herself. Then with Daddy's help she stood holding the back of a beach chair and bounced and danced to Poppi's IPOD. Again, all smiles. It was the first time I could see the desire in her to stand and want to be upright. I felt like maybe something is "clicking" inside and she realizes she can do it and maybe some of her frustration eased.

Its so nice these days at the beach because both Bella and Zack are more independent than they were when they were infants. There are many times when they will just sit together on the blanket under the umbrella and just play. I love to watch them both and especially enjoy watching Bella "play". She is doing a whole lot more of that these days. Today she even took a straw from my ice coffee and waved it around laughing..again, a little thing but she never really "pretended" or played like that.

As I am watching her I see her looking over at our dear friend Donna as she relaxed and read her book, Bella watched Donna and then started to scoot.. a little scoot at a time till she made her way into Donna's lap. This type of interaction is a big accomplishment for Bella.

Then came another biggie.. not far from our spot on the beach were three little girls, probably about 6 or 7 years old, sitting in the sand. I am watching Bella observe these little girls when all of a sudden she is on the move.. scooting over and ultimately crashing their circle! It was just about the cutest thing I have ever seen. I wish I could describe the look on Bella's face.. I don't think I can do it justice. She was just so happy. She showed no fear and went right up to each little girl, even trying to give one girl a kiss and trying to "smell" the flowers on the other's little dress.

Now since these were "older" girls I am not sure if they quite knew what to make of our Bella busting in on their turf..one of the little girls asked me how old she was and I told her 2.. and then in the sweetest of ways she said "Doesn't she talk yet?" Simple, innocent and appropriate question for sure..yet as I stood there and said "No, not yet"...a flood of emotion swelled up and took my breathe away. I held back my tears just long enough to see Bella decide she had had enough and scoot back towards our beach family...home turf.

As I returned to my chair with everyone saying how awesome that was to watch and genuinely sharing in Bella's litle social triumph, the tears came. So I got up and took a quick walk to compose myself.

It was like in that split second my mind flashed forward like a movie reel with frames of future moments like that... it reminded me of a quote I read on another blog by a mother with a Retts Angel.. it said "Before I had my daughter I thought I would have to explain the world to her, now I have to explain my daughter to the world". As happy as I was to see Bella adventuring over to those little girls, I felt instant fear and wanted to protect her. I couldn't bear to see her hurt or left out. I know I am not alone on that as I am sure every mother feels that way..but it just hit me that Bella is going to face some different challenges and I can't bear the world being unkind to her.

So I let the tears fall, briefly, caught my breathe and shook it off. I was reminded by another dear friend that today was a day for celebration...celebrating Bella's accomplishments. Ahh good advice thanks Sharon. So once again I was reminded about how thankful I am for all the love that surrounds Bella..we could not be more lucky. Who else but Bella gets a collective "I love you" in sign language from the most amazing group of people encircling her, protecting her. Another precious moment for me to realize, its going to be okay...its all going to be ok.